I'm Already Gone

It's done. I've removed him from my life and he probably didn't even notice it happened. I'd like to check in and see how he's taking it but that would involve talking to him and that's something I promised myself I wouldn't do. General consensus from my secret sources is that he'll probably be badgering me at some point to figure out where the hell I've gone, and I suppose I'll have to tell him, but for all intents and purposes, I'm out.

Things I'd Forgotten

1. October Sky makes me cry. A lot. A LOT A LOT. Like the whole second half of the movie a lot.

2. Little Bear is wonderful and probably the reason that I love Bach's 1st Cello Suite so much and why I find it so very soothing to listen to or to play. 

3. Nothing to Lose is no fun without the cursing.

 1. Writers' block. Auuuuuugh.

2. I can't afford my apartment and have to move.

3. Would anybody but my mother miss me if I disappeared?

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why the hell you annoy me so much. Maybe it's because you don't care that we haven't had a real conversation in months. Or because you succeeded in turning my girls' night into an awkward conversationless hour with both of you. 

Or maybe it's because I'm mad at myself because I don't have enough friends that I can tell you to go fuck yourself. Or because I'm mad at myself because I'm stupid enough to think you'll grow out of this fucked up phase and be my friend again.

FUUUUUCK.

People who annoy me:

-Tyra Banks

-Oprah

-anybody involved with The Hills

-Disney Channel clones

-Matthew McConnaughey 

-Lindsey Lohan and anyone she's ever dated

-Rush Limbaugh 

-Newt Gingrich

-Ryan Seacrest

-anybody involved with American Idol

-Taylor Swift

-Miss California 

-Perez Hilton

-Jennifer Aniston 

-people who talk in libraries

-the guy who lives below me who smokes under my window

Holy Crap!

I was watching an episode of Boston Legal tonight and much to my surprise, Denny Crane popped up in the synagogue I attended as a child! I don't like the synagogue or the way they do things or the rabbi there, BUT it's still pretty cool to see William Shatner sitting in the pew where I sat during my little sister's baby-naming ceremony. 

Plus I loved Boston Legal and I wish it was still on. Denny Crane and Alan Shore are such dynamic, fascinating characters and I want to see more of them. If only their bit at the end of the finale about getting a new deal on a better network were true...

In other news, the film crew stopping traffic on my block is gone, finally. At first I thought it was cool they were filming a pilot in the apartment building down the street, but when they stole all the parking spaces and got me chased back to my apartment by cops (I was merely passing by on my way back from school and NOT spying, and there was nothing to see anyway), it ceased to be exciting and became a major pain in the ass. Not to mention the fact that I'm sick to death of post-apocalyptic dramas like Lost and Heroes (but not Battlestar Galactica and Firefly) and this is literally more of the same, by one of the same writers. Of course, I'll have to watch it when it starts anyway, just to see what they did with the location. 

Conversely, if I had found out that what was filming in the park down the street, I'd have been much gladder and made much more of an effort to snoop around and spy on Justin Long. 

I need more positive people in my life. My best friend shouldn't be somebody who makes me feel like shit. 

It's up to you. Be a good part of my life, or watch me disappear.

Dooom.

I am sicker than i've been in years. I have writer's block. Somebody kill me.

Alone again, naturally

Felt like crying all day. No good reason. Too blargh to use articles. 

*Sob*

Same Old Saturday Night

Tired, lonely, and a little drunk. Same old Saturday night.

I need a friend.